Republican Voter Apathy: The McCain Monologues

"Pop the champagne, cue the music, let's party! McCain has wrapped up the Republican nomination."

"Champagne? For McCain, are you kidding?"

"How bout some Cold Duck, would that suffice?"

"Why are you in the mood to celebrate?"

"I thought we should, after all, McCain's our man!"

"McCain's our man, true, tell me one thing McCain's said this election that you can recall?"

"Umm, I can't remember anything McCain has said."

"Have you felt "inspired" by anything McCain has said?"

"Ah, actually nothing I can recall."

"So let me get this straight, you want to celebrate the nomination of a guy whom you say does nothing to inspire you and you can't remember a single thing he's said the whole election?


"Then why did you want to celebrate?"

"Because all the fun and excitement is over on the Democrat's side. I mean, it's neck and neck between Obama and Hillary, all the twists and turns, the drama of da feet, the thrill of victory."

"You mean the "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."

"Yeah, that's it, the agony of da feet. Besides, I'm jealous, even though I'm not a Democrat I wish the Repubicans could have had a guy who inspired me, inspired everyone actually, to vote Republican, to feel good about being a Republican."

"McCain just doesn't "do it" for me."

"Me either."

"Kinda sad."

"Yep, kinda sad."

"McCain can't help it that he's boring."

"Nope, he can't."

"My McCain level of excitement on a scale of one to ten is .5."

"Mine's .32."

"What do we do now?"

"We watch the Dems have all the fun."

"That's not fair."

"Life... is not fair."

"Apparently it's not fun either."


"Won't this apathy work against us?"

"Yes, it could but at the moment I could care less."

"Yep, me too."


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