Culture Watch 26: Ethanol Damages and

Culture Watch, Vol.26
Nancy Morgan
August 4, 2008

Click for video: "Leave Barack Alone!"
[WARNING: Explicit Language]

The good news is, Congress is adjourned for the next five weeks. The bad news is, Pelosi and pals were successful in avoiding a vote on offshore drilling. Just because 70% of the American people want to drill doesn't mean that the Democrats are going to hand the Republicans a political victory this close to the election. This endless, eternal, ongoing:

Obama's star is becoming tarnished, much to the chagrin of the old media. Those nasty polls continue to show a race that, as we speak, is now tied. Not one to take this sitting down, Obama has become even bolder. He just announced his new 'emergency economic plan.' In what can only be described as pure socialism, Obama has proposed giving families a $1,000 stimulus check, funded from "windfall profits from big oil." A modern day Robin Hood, this guy.
Speaking of Obama, as we have been for what seems an eternity, "The One" has offered a solution to high gas prices. Americans, inflate your tires! I kid you not.
Meanwhile, 30% of conservative Democrats say they'll vote for McCain and the DNC fund-raising for their convention is off by $10 million. Obama just backed further away from McCain's challenge of a Lincoln-style debate, agreeing only to the standard three face-offs in the fall.
The McCain campaign has released a great video, mocking the divine Obama. 'The One' accurately sums up the media induced cult status this empty suit has achieved. Hilarious stuff.
Iraqi and US forces now control virtually all of Iraq and Baghdad's troops may be able to take on security for the whole country by 2009. Meanwhile, US combat deaths in July plunged to the lowest level in four years and Bush has cut tours for troops in Iraq down to one year.
This commercial being shown on Iraqi TV sums up better than I how much we've accomplished in Iraq. Nothing short of miraculous.
On the immigration front, it appears that the number of illegal immigrants in the US has dropped by app. 1 million. Banks in Mexico report that remittances from Mexicans in the US fell 2.2% in the first 6 months of 2008. And the US allowed in more than 2,300 Iraqi refugees last month, setting a record and putting the Bush administration on pace to surpass its goal of accepting 12,000 Iraqi by next September.
Other good news: The number of chronically homeless dropped nearly 30 percent from 2005 to 2007 and the number of Americans who consider themselves Democrats fell two percentage points to 39.2%

Gavin Newsome and new bride
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and new bride, Jennifer Siebel
Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick signed a bill that clears the way for gay and lesbian couples from other states to marry in Massachusetts. As gays celebrated, the CDC issued a new report. Apparently the US AIDS infection rate is 40% higher than earlier estimates. Oops. In some black communities, the HIV rate actually exceeds that of some African nations.
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom took time out from the people's business to marry actress Jennifer Siebel. Then, it was back to work, as newly wed Newsom officially proposed a $1,000 fine for all those irresponsible residents who don't sort their trash into the environmentally correct piles.
Down south in LA, the city council approved a one-year moratorium on new fast-food restaurants. Seattle, meanwhile, became the first city to discourage the use of paper and plastic shopping bags by requiring retailers to slap a .20 per bag charge on them. Continuing their valiant efforts to save the earth, Seattle's Mayor Greg Nickels is planning 'car-free' days throughout the city.
The House successfully kept the issue of offshore drilling from coming to a vote - concentrating instead on approving legislation that would empower the EPA to regulate the tobacco industry. Congress also tackled illegal immigration by announcing, to great fanfare, their latest solution: advising illegals to deport themselves rather than risk getting caught.

Last, but not least, the House issued an unprecedented apology to black Americans for the wrongs committed against them and their ancestors who suffered under slavery. Mea culpa. Next step: reparations. Sigh.

The clash between gay rights and religious freedom acquired two new fronts recently, both involving Christians who say they were punished on their jobs for actions that reflect religious disapproval of homosexuality.

A government school in Texas will force students who don't follow the rules to wear prison-like jumpsuits. Parents complain the policy will make the kids feel like prisoners. Neal Boortz accurately points out, they are.

Workers at Tyson Food's poultry processing plant in Shelbyville will no longer have a paid day off on Labor Day. Instead, they will take the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr in the fall.
A British website is recruiting kids as 'climate cops', encouraging them to keep records on their parents and neighbors for violations of 'energy crimes' against the planet.
More women than ever are donating their eggs. A sixty year-old Saudi man has graciously agreed to postpone his marriage to a ten year-old and, in Australia, surgery to 'rejuvenate' the vagina has been blacklisted as more women become injured by the dangerous procedure.
The first ever eyelash extensions for men will hit the shelves next month. They will be offered in both thick and fine options.
Mechanics are starting to see the damage ethanol is doing to small engines. "When you put that ethanol in here, it eats up the insides, or rusts them out."

The new 'smart car' gets 40 MPG but isn't heavy enough to set off the sensors that activate left-turn signal lights at intersections.

Memo to McDonalds: The Palestinian Authority is facing a severe financial crisis due to a lack of donor countries to fulfill their pledges to fund the Palestinians.

A record 9,000 Chinese couples plan to tie the knot to celebrate the opening of the Olympic games and to take advantage of the lucky date, 8/8/08. The World Bank has designated Linfen, China as the most polluted city in the world.

Academics have unearthed what they believe to be the world's oldest joke, a double entrendre about men's sexual desire. Saudi Arabia's religious police have announced a ban on selling cats and dogs as pets. [Guess you can still buy them for food] The reason? Men are using them as a means of making passes at women. Did you know there is no word for humor in Islam?

Last week, US Airways announced - no more free water on their flights. Delta, meanwhile, is doubling its charge for checking a second bag on all domestic flights.


This week's award goes to all those ingenious suicide bombers who are starting to wear explosive 'underwear briefs' to evade body searches.

Before I sign off, I have an interesting tidbit. For all of you who have been impressed by T. Boone Pickens commercials touting wind power, you might want to read this article.

by Nancy Morgan

Nancy Morgan is a columnist and a news editor for
She lives in South Carolina, where she writes "Culture Watch" weekly.

Article may be reprinted with attribution. Bio available on request.
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