No, I mean, really, he loves his car.
Really.
Most people think they have figured out autoertism as of the age 12 or so. Turns out that is not quite so. And many of us associated cars with sex, but it was what was in the car with us. Not, ah, the .....auto itself!
A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.
"Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.
"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said."
That's right: Fast Eddie here has turned in hooters for honkers.
This (above) for this (below):
"Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men. But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms."
How kind of Eddie to share his passion with us. No word yet as to whether the sex was as good for the Auto as it was for Eddie.
And the mechanics of the whole act are somewhat iffy to the normal mind (Is this where the creepy Mini Cooper came from?).
And I know some of you will tease Eddie with mockery and cruel puns. Tell him he is merely polishing his stick shift, that he is being a bit racy, that cars are to be jacked up, not off etc. But Eddie--who has come out of the closet, oops, I mean, cab--argues that he is part of an international movement:
"Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums."
So this means it is all OK, right?
Well maybe this guy can marry his horny Volkswagon in California, but this guy is a wreck in my opinion.
A pervert who has lost his wheels.
by pat
Sources:
* http://www.telegraph.co.uk
* toolwrench
* autobahnpower
* crazybutable
* charitybuzz
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