Unexpectedly: adv, Coming without warning; unforeseen.
THE AP is CONTINUALLY STARTLED BY JOBLESS CLAIMS
IS IT THE ONION OR THE AP?
Getting hit by a car while crossing the street? That's unexpected.
You discover your mom is having an affair with the milkman? That's unexpected.
Space aliens steal your chain saw? That's unexpected.
The Associated Press reports rising jobless figures month after month after month?
Totally, fully, absolutely, positively EXPECTED.
The number of newly laid-off workers filing initial claims for jobless benefits rose unexpectedly last week, evidence that layoffs are continuing and jobs remain scarce.
The rise is the fourth in the past five weeks. Most economists hoped that claims would resume a downward trend that was evident in the fall and early winter.
--First-time jobless claims rise unexpectedly
For the last six months or so, every dismal story about rising unemployment or jobless figures from the government has been chronicled in an Associated Press release that begins something like, "The number of newly laid-off workers filing initial claims for jobless benefits rose unexpectedly last week..."
The continuing bad jobless figures might be "unexpected" to the AP, but to millions of their remaining readers, after months and months of the same-old same-old, they are totally to be expected.
It's gotten so bad that the word "unexpectedly"--when used by the Associated Press to describe something bad concerning the Obama administration--is something of an Internet punchline (Guess what rose “unexpectedly”?).
AP JOKE TIME!
JOKES YOU CAN USE NEXT TIME YOU SEE AN AP STORY ABOUT "UNEXPECTED" JOBLESS FIGURES
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dude, I totally expected you to say that."
---
A cowboy, an astronaut and a fisherman go into a bar. Bartender asks them, "What'll you have?"
They unexpectedly order different drinks.
---
What's the difference between Pravda and the AP?
One's a government mouthpiece that transparently manipulates stories and news in an attempt to deceive the unwitting and the other's a Russian newspaper.
Increasingly, the AP is becoming like a poor man's Onion.
What would be truly unexpected would be for the AP to do a story without using the word "unexpected" to describe more bad unemployment news.
They're becoming like that guy in your office who keeps humming the same song over and over and over and over....
You know who you are.
by Mondo Frazier
image: Wrens Nest Online
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