One for the Monday, Two for the Show
by Suzette
Cripes! Suzette
I didn't want to have to start analyzing President Barry's wardrobe, but I see that none of you are going to do it, are you?
Let me begin by addressing the elephant in the room. Why do we never see a pants lump in pictures of the presumptive nominee? You know what I mean - the big baloney. The wonder down under. (Don't worry - I've got a million of 'em, and the campaign season has only just begun.)
Even in those photos of him splashing around in the surf in a wet bathing suit, you can't make out anything. And when he had a chance to wear those lycra biking shorts, he chose instead to put on his mom jeans. And I ask you - have you ever seen thicker fleece than those sweatpants he wears to play basketball? The worst of it is that he provokes us to look there.
Now men, I'm sorry if this is a revelation to you, but the ladies look at you there all the time.
All the time.
So we're hardly in need of inducement to do so. Yet look at the careful staging as the President of the World appeared before the masses in Germany today. The stance is reminiscent of the Blue Suede Shoes-era Elvis, the end of the tie draws the eye downwards, the pants bag out where the lump should be. And the very buzzwords from the campaign: Hope and Change. Hope and Change. I hope he changes into some slim-cut khakis before I get too old.
Donatella Versace said his suits are ill-fitted. This issue must be exactly what she's talking about because she designed a line of "stream-lined" menswear inspired by him. You can yammer all you want trying to prove that the MSM is covering up for him, but you won't convince anybody until you show photographic evidence that not once in all the millions of images of Obama is there the slightest bump. If that's not a cover-up, I don't know what is.
But don't worry - I'll be watching.
WANT more Suzette? Try these recent posts: * Are We Missing Hillary Yet? * Are We Missing Hillary Yet? * Remember, Deer, You Are Concrete And To Concrete You Shall Return |
by Suzette
images: Cripes! Suzette
Source: One for the Money, Two for the Show